Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
