the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
