What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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