just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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