my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Couch. On fire.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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