I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize