i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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