I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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