capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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