mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
