I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
