I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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