If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
a search helicopter?!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
