i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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