no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize