Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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