I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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