Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
