I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize