We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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