I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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