whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
