Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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