Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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