someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
