Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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