Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
