STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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