He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
