Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
