You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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