I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We left the knife in your bed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
