I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
