I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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