covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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