Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
