Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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