you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
