oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
