I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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