Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
