ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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