Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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