Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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