Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
