her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
