We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
