The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize