they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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