woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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