Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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