ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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