I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
