My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
they need to just BURY HIM!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
