does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
