How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
