Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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