Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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