I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
