Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
