Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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