he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
