someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
