I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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