So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
