Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
